Gundam Seed Infinite Destiny
by eclipticxdreams
Summary: He was the ultimate warrior, the greatest peacemaker. . . And he's lost all hope. What will happen when a new war broils between Orb and the Earth Alliance? What will happen when Kira is still haunted by the faces of those he killed before? Please R&R.
1. Prologue

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: I do NOT in any way own this anime nor did I take part in the production of this anime or its franchise.

* * *

Prologue –

_Beneath the veil of starry sky._

_As cold as winter's darkest night._

_It's there you'll sleep, silent and deep._

_You're all alone._

It was true that above them and amidst the array of stars Shinn and Kira Yamato stood beside each other. They had met after the second bloody war and after the destruction of Messiah. It had been his first words, Shinn's first words that had affected Kira the most, and had been the first thing he said to him in return. Or really replied to. Soon they became quick friends; wanting the same thing only one seemed to be more level-headed than the other. Or in Shinn's case his naive. It would be a lie to say that it was not cold, and Kira himself stood bracing the cold winds and was quite aware of the angry raven haired male beside him. The Asuka boy was neither cold nor chilled for his blood boiled with such a fury that even Kira could feel the heat radiating off the hot-headed teen.

"Why is this happening again?" Shinn whispered. _No matter how beautiful the flowers are humans will just wipe them out. _The words seemed to be but a whisper, a shadow of the male's previous words. "Why Orb? Why Again?" he asked, and from his despairing tone the brunette was unsure of whether or not he wanted an answer. The other teen hesitated, amethyst eyes turning to the dark-haired male beside him before again he turned to the ocean. It was a nostalgic scene, and it was as if he were standing upon the same spot as he had during the second war.

_Someone is crying. Why is it, that again people find themselves feeling despair?_ Those had been his words during that painted scene. The gentle waves splashed upon the sandy beaches leaving streaked marks of where the water had wet the dry sand and its smooth surface glistened. And reflected upon the cool salty ocean was a mix of warm colors, a distorted imitation of the sunset painted across the sky. "Maybe in a sense, Chairman Durandal had been right," the brunette said though his face clearly held a frown. Shinn looked up then, gazing into the lilac eyes that refused to look at him as Kira was lost in thought. The rhythmic splashing of the waves consumed them for a moment, as if the ruby-eyed teen needed a moment to contemplate and to absorb the words that had been given to him.

"What are you talking about!? The guy was trying to control our futures! He was trying to make us into these little puppets, listen to everything he said so _he _would be living in his perfect fantasy world!" he exclaimed fully-facing the ultimate coordinator now, his hands clenched into fists and his knuckles white. "And the bastard used me to do that," he spat almost as if an after thought. But instead of launching into any explosion similar to the younger coordinator, Kira turned and shook his head almost sadly.

"They say their sorry and tell you that they'll never do it again. But people forget and make the same mistakes again and again," he whispered his voice seemed to be wavering as he bit his lower lip. He turned back to the ocean sunset and Shinn could see the way his eyes seemed to glitter all the more. And for once, it wasn't just its mesmerizing beauty that did so, but they were the beginning of tears. He'd heard Lacus tell him once that the male refused to let tears fall. And only once was she ever able to make the strong-willed man cry in front of her. Ruby-eyes seemed to fog and blur, that wasn't the right answer. It wasn't the answer Shinn had wanted to hear. Yearned to hear. There was no hope in his voice. _But there will always be people to plant the flowers again._ Where had that Kira gone? The one who had pushed away his cynical thoughts.

_A single prayer's soft melody,_

_Across the lonely silent fields,_

_A little light begins to shine._

_It shines on and on._

A single gust of wind blew past them ruffling their hair and Kira inhaled the fresh sea breeze. It was strange, that despite the blood shed the smallest of things still made him happy, and that nature would never be stained with blood as humans were. Shinn opened his mouth hesitantly, as if he had lost his voice for a moment. "Are you an idiot?" he asked, turning blood boiling at the idea of him losing hope. Kira turned to him a look of faint surprise. "You're the pilot of the strike freedom. Just because Orb is in a war doesn't mean you have to get all depressed! Idiot," he glared at him. How could he? How could he loose hope so easily because the country with the strongest ideas had suddenly found themselves amidst a war? Because of the countless sacrifices that had been made.

"Sorry…" Kira replied nonchalantly, his tone was flat and his expression unreadable as he spoke. And Shinn only frowned more at his reaction.

"Don't apologize you idiot! What the hell is wrong with you these days anyway!?" Shinn exclaimed angrily, glaring with such distaste at the ultimate coordinator though he seemed to take no notice of him as he did not cringe nor look at him. The brunette remained silent, an attitude that irritated him further as slowly, bright lights soared through the skies and landed upon the Earth. Each one erupting into such an amazing display that Shinn found it hard to turn away. The screams were silenced over the large explosions and Shinn cringed at the though of more people dying. And in Orb of all places. "We have to get to a shelter! Hurry!" he exclaimed and he pulled the tanned hand of Kira Yamato before the man blinked and began to run beside him. In the distance they could almost feel the cries of agony that came from those who became victims of the attack. A blonde girl twirled upon the cliffs, a serene smile upon her before she drifted off to heaven into the deepest of seas. A confused and distraught Allster, who fell in love was kidnapped and before being reunited with her man was killed just as she was about to reach safety. A young brunette smiling as she exclaimed the name of her older brother. A father and idealist of the great nation of Orb, sacrificing himself for the safety of his adopted daughter. A brunette who had flown onto the Fly Grasper to save his friend when he knew he could do little and died to save his vest friend. A green-haired pianist, gentle and kind in nature, sacrificing himself for the hope of a better tomorrow. All their past memories and loved ones flashed through their minds in the mere seconds. Everyone whom they had known and loved. Who had died right before their eyes, their memories seemed to continue to haunt their minds. And they knew that even if no one had even said they had to fight, that they would. To protect. They would stop them from killing.

_I watched you as you so peacefully dreamed,_

_You laughed like a child happy and carefree,_

_It's so familiar and yet so far._

_That's the future that's promised for you and me._

It was like a nightmare come to life. For him, for Kira, for Cagalli. For everyone. _What we want to do. What you can do. And what you've got to do._ They were brave words to say and Kira had once believed and followed those morals. But what if Orb plunged into darkness after its first war? Would he be able to take it down? Have the heart to destroy his sister's country? They ran into the shelters that were just below their orphanage. It was a shame that they had finally been given a break from the military, to relax and think courtesy of his sister. The inside was cold and bare. Though children sat all around them as the ground and roof shook. Lacus Clyne sat there and looked up at Kira, offering up a reassuring smile. Her pink hair tumbling over her shoulders and gray eyes softened as she watched the man she was infatuated with walk into the shelter before sitting. He seemed distressed and she turned to Shinn who only shrugged.

The children whimpered; the same children who had been so happy to play on the sandy beach had tears streaming down their faces. The second time. It was the second time they had witnessed such inhumane acts of cruelty. And this time, Lacus sang the same soothing song as her voice crept softly above the sound of the explosions. As Orb was hit with whatever the Earth Forces had thrown at them. They were lucky they were not Nukes. Kira frowned as a young child huddled up closer to him. Bringing and arm around the younger child it was Shinn who suddenly got up in an angry outburst.

"Why the hell are we just sitting around here!?" he exclaimed angrily watching them as they sat eyes and expressions sorrowful. Except Kira, it was always except Kira. Kira's face was unreadable. He could recall the songstress having once told him that Kira had long since lost his sense of humor after the war. Lost his innocence and it seemed that he was slowly losing hope. Three wars in a lifetime that was definitely a difficult thing to live through. "They've sent ships here, mobile suits! We have our own! Why the hell aren't you fighting!?" he exclaimed angrily, hands clenched into angry fists as he glared at the teen before him.

At that moment it seemed everyone turned their distraught gaze upon him. Everyone except Kira.

_One day on a green and shining mourn,_

_One day we will finally make it through._

_Cause in this night, so dark with winter,_

_We still have to believe that it's true…_

Hope is a frail thing. The small light at the end of a tunnel, it was something everyone wished to have, someone could gather strength from. But could that strength disappear? Could someone lose hope, after too much blood is shed? Too many loved ones lost? And too many people killed by your own hands? "Kira…?" the silken voice was distressed as the Queen spoke. Brows furrowed. The songstress had a great effect on the male, the reason as to why Durandal had once nicknamed her so. She did not want him to fight, knew that the past terrors of hurting and killing others continued to haunt the teen though she also knew that it was not like him. To be so unwilling to protect whom he cared for.

"So, is that it? You've given up?" Shinn spat ruby eyes narrowing in such a way that it could easily be mistaken for actual hatred. But Shinn was always like that so it was always difficult to tell. "You won't act if it's against an Atha is it? Well you won't be able to protect anything like that. You'll only realize it when everything you have… Is gone." Memories pictures, everything seemed to whir through his mind. The experiments Dr. Hibiki, his father was gone. His real family and his old friends. They had suffered because of what he was. And then Rau Le Creuset. _'You should have never have been allowed to exist boy!' _came the scornful and hating words of the cynical clone. Kira shook his head slowly.

"Shut up!" he snapped eyes glaring before he blinked and turned around eyes closing as he held his head between his hands.

"Fight to protect Orb! You have to!" Shinn exclaimed pulling one hand from his head so he was forced to look at him.

"If I fight again… What will be left of the future? After so many have died, I can't… I," Kira murmured unsure of himself. He did not want to fight; he had no desire to fight. And he knew now, that no one would make him fight.

_Field of Hope_

* * *

**A/N:** Well, yays! I got a new fan fiction up. I think Kira was a bit OC with his depressed attitude but I think Lacus was pretty in character. I sued the Song Fields Of Hope sung by Jillian Michaels in the English Dub Series of Gundam Seed. Since of course it would make much more sense. If you're wondering about the whole Orb thing that'll be revealed in chapter one! ^^ I'll try to update soon, especially my Crackified Pairings collection. And I have half of the next Full Metal Alchemist Fan Fiction Typed up. Sorry for the long wait guys! It'll be up soon! I hope! Ah yes, and thanks for reading, comments and constructive criticism are loved! NO angry ness please because that makes me sad ):


	2. Distrusting Federation

Phase 01 –

Amethyst eyes slowly opened upon a brunette who was lying on his bed. Chestnut hair tousled upon his pillow and streams of sunlight broke through the curtains. It was a near angelic scene and as Kira pushed himself up he yawned again. It was peaceful and serene in his home in Orb; it was days like those that made him happy. Days like those that he ever permitted himself to feel happy. To allow that small slim smile appear upon his face. It was truly a shame that the Ultimate Coordinator did not smile as often, did not _genuinely_ smile often. For when he did the warmth of it could melt any heart and its sheer brilliance could light any room. A certain glow that was never present when he feigned happiness, a smile he now often wore. Not that anyone could ever tell the difference but the select few people around him who truly knew him.

A gentle rapping upon the door immediately caught his attention and he turned, sitting up before he called lightly, "Come in," and a blonde female glanced at him from behind the door hesitantly before opening the door wider.

"Geez Kira, one day you're going to die from sleeping so much," Cagalli remarked as she stepped inside, a hand upon her hip as she stared at him. The brunette smiled in returned before the Orb Representative walked up to him, taking small yet confident steps across the floor. "C'mon breakfast is down stairs. Athrun and I are just about to leave," Cagalli said ruffling his hair before turning. Though she tossed a look over her shoulder. "Lacus is still downstairs though," she smiled genuinely, eyes softening before she left the door lightly clicking behind her. And Kira was again left alone to frown. Why did everyone assume he was infatuated with Lacus Clyne? Not that he had never bore such an attraction towards her though those feelings had died shortly after the second war, yet he nonetheless still thought of her as a close friend. Not that they had ever even officially been a couple par say. No one ever listened though, not that they teased though they always held a sort of knowing look that sometimes caused even Kira to be irritated. He shrugged it off quickly before changing out of his pajamas. Slipping into his usual black skinny jeans and the high collared black top he looked over himself briefly in the mirror. He could see that the dread of fighting in the war had slowly begun to lift and he hoped that eventually he'd be able to forgive himself for everything he had done. He winced remembering a friend of Athrun's someone whom he remembered to be a pianist by the name of Nicol Amarfi.

His hand reached up to rub the thin bridge of his nose as he frowned before shaking the thought away. The war was over; he wasn't expected to protect the world anymore. He wouldn't have to kill anymore. He wouldn't have to pick up his sword. And he knew that he could only hope that the world stayed as it was, and much like what he had told Durandal, if another war did make itself known he would stand and fight. Protect those he cared for and fight by his country's side. He knew that whenever he did so, lives were saved, and yet that guilty pang of his heart never ceased, and he hoped that it would never lessen. _The first time I had to shoot somebody… It turned my stomach. They told me I'd get used to it in time… And that's what happened. _He did not want to turn into a cold-hearted killer. Killing those who were ignorant to the truth, killing them with his seed.

He shook off the thought before he stepped out of his door. Faint sounds of shuffling could be heard downstairs most likely Lacus as she was perhaps putting the dishes away. Walking down the spiral of steps he reached the bottom plank with a light creaking and the pink haired songstress turned immediately, smiling kindly at the Yamato boy. "Good morning sleepy head," she smiled her voice was as soft as it was soothing and he smiled in return before taking a seat. There were eggs laid out in front of him, and the bacon was thin and crisp. Its tempting aroma had already reached him while he was upstairs and now its scent was mixed with that of freshly brewed coffee. A normal continental breakfast and Kira thanked her gratefully before beginning to eat himself. "Don't be silly," she replied waving away his thanks, "I'm already used to it," she said with a soft giggle. The words were meant to comfort and yet they brought back memories of the first war. Words Andrew Waltfeld himself had said. _Humans can get used to anything, even killing each other._ Hiding a frown that the pink-haired idol had caught but ignored, leaving him to his thoughts. "Ah, Cagalli and Athrun have already left. You know how busy Cagalli is." She said with a small smile and Kira returned the gesture.

"Cagalli told me she was leaving already," he chuckled lightly, "Told me I was sleeping too much again," he continued before smiling slightly. It was a small smile though Lacus was clearly happy to see him in good spirits. She glanced out the window; the weather seemed to shine so that the ultimate coordinator would smile for it though nonetheless her heart sank. It was always the weather, or Cagalli or his friends who made him truly smile now. People like Sai or Athrun. She couldn't make him happy anymore; she could only be there whenever he fell, to pick him up again. The cloudless day let little stand in the way of its brilliance and the salty ocean just outside their window sparkled with the reflection of the sun.

"It looks beautiful outside, doesn't it?" Lacus asked, a small smile graced her lips as she turned to Kira, and his expression softened as he nodded.

"Yeah, it does," he replied almost dreamily and Lacus walked up towards him delicately raising his arm.

"Let's go outside for a walk," she smiled as the brunette got up and followed almost obediently behind her. A light breeze twirled around them though it did little to rid of the summer heat. The songstress' hair seemed to be a crown of pink and he again wondered why whenever they stepped outside, they were never crowded by paparazzi nor blinded by flashing lights. A small flicker of worriment flashed across her face, as if she was wondering the same thing, before she turned to him. Lacus always seemed to talk to him as if he were a small and fragile child, and yet at the same level as any adult. Perhaps it was her kind nature, though the trait seemed to have a negative effect as depending on ones mood, her tone could sound different, and gave Kira the feeling of being treated as a child. "It's nice when it's so peaceful, isn't it?" the pink-haired idol smiled again. And Kira nodded. "It seems…" she began, worriment in her voice which caused Kira to immediately snap into attention. "The Atlantic Federation has grown weary of Orb's political ideals. Where they stand in the world," Lacus bit her lip nervously and Kira frowned, not liking the expression on her face. "They want Orb to become part of the Earth Alliance."

* * *

"They want what!?" hands slammed hard upon the oak table in Orb's base. Cagalli Yula Athha, the young adopted daughter of the former leader of Orb stood, fully clothed in uniform glaring at the members seated around her at the table, as if everything that was happening was their blame. "They want us to sign a treaty to stand by the side of the Earth Alliance!? That's absolutely…! What do they intend to do, there is no war raging and above that Orb has always stood by their ideals, and I don't plan to change that."

"Representative, perhaps they have grown restless, especially with this temporary time of peace they believe it will not last. Especially after the two wars before this." A male spoke up, dark green hair cropped short and pulled back as not to fall into his eyes, and a pair of thick rimmed glasses framed his face.

"But starting an alliance now of all times will make the PLANTs representative restless, and that would only invite another war," the blonde said, brows furrowed though a stubborn expression upon her delicate features. "As always we will refuse their offer to join Alliance's as Orb will stand by their ideals." Murmurs all around the table. _No princess, strength is a necessity. There will always be conflict. _The words echoed in her mind, she had already convinced herself that Durandal was not correct, that his words were lies. But as she became ruler of Orb she soon discovered faint truths in his words, or was she always just trying to protect her own world?

"But what if the country burns? If the Earth Alliance attacks?" one man called out, frustrated and confused, unable to forget the past.

"Are they under the influence of Blue Cosmos?"

"What if what happened with the Seiran's happens again?"

"Can't we just allow the peace to last?

"But then if we wait that long another war will arrive, and who knows what will be left of Orb then?

"Sign the treaty! That'll ensure the Earth Alliance's safety as well as ours!"

"Everyone please!" the representative exclaimed, pleading for them to cease their doubts, though they could tell that it was no request but a command and everyone immediately hushed. "Orbs Ideals are the only things that keep us strong, that defines our nation. Orb will not attack another nation, will not allow another nation to attack them, and will not intervene in the conflicts of other nations," Cagalli continued, her last word exaggerated so that everyone knew that it was she who ruled Orb. "My decision is that we will not join the Earth Alliance and continue to stand as a neutral nation." A few seemed prepared to detest though the representative's auburn gaze immediately silenced them again. The others nodded. Understanding what the princess of Orb wanted and hurriedly did as she had requested.

* * *

A brunette sat alone in a near dark room, her face and figure illuminated by a faint violet glow. "So, they've disagreed?" the female smirked, a crude smile upon full pink lips. Not that she had not expected anything different. Her slender hand came to free strands of hair to the side of her face twirling the straight chestnut strands eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. "I had thought as much," she said to herself. "Orb is indeed an interesting nation, but with power I suppose they could be a neutral country if they wish." Her legs were crossed, and in her free hand was a delicate glass. Its thin stem held between three fingers as she lightly spun the cup, the liquid spinning hypnotically in its chalice. "But a threat if left alone. They betrayed us in the first war, I want them held onto by a firm leash," she whispered the delicate stem snapping in two, it's contents spilling onto the cold marble floor as the glass shattered on the hard surface.

"With such a great divide amongst the species now living with us, no one can be neutral anymore. That would not be fair," she smiled menacingly again, pushing herself up from the chair gracefully before striding off from her office. "Ms. Kujyou," a man bowed low, a hand resting before his chest, allowing her to walk in front. She smiled all too innocently as she walked forward. She was of course a strong believer of Blue Cosmos, that was without the media knowing. She was also a very important woman, as was anyone who ruled a nation. The Atlantic Federation, the most powerful faction of the Earth Alliance. And she had quite a bit of power. _Are weapons really the cause of all this suffering? Or does the real answer lie within the human heart? _They were brave and famous words, spoken by none other than a Lacus Clyne. Her expression did not waver as she stepped into the dark limousine; 'The human heart really is a twisted thing.' The female thought back, her expression darkening. Hana Kujyou; Representative of the Atlantic Federation, Coordinator.

* * *

Author's Note: -le gasp- What!? A coordinator! Just repeating that if you missed it. It may or may not be important in the future. But anyways here's the next chapter, hope you liked it! Comments and Constructive Criticism would be loved! I think I got some of the quotes wrong, sorry about that. I haven't worked on anything else but this, at least as much as fanfictions are concerned. So I hope you are very very grateful. And again please comment! It makes me happy x) Oh an yes, Hana is me x) I r Evilllll.

* * *

* * *

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny, nor did I take part in the creation of the anime or manga.

* * *


	3. Distraught Emotions

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the animes used, nor did I take part in its creation.

* * *

Phase 02 –

The raven haired boy glared at the Television screen, as if it was to blame for the current state of affairs.

"The Orb Union has made clear their decision to reject the proposal of the Earth Alliance to join forces and they continue to stand as a neutral nation. Orb Representative, Ms. Athha continues to state that their nation will not succumb to pressure and remain true to their ideals…" the television droned. Shinn found himself again living in Orb and it was no secret that he was dissatisfied with the representative's decision. It had been during the first war, the previous ruler of Orb made the same idiotic choice and the male's fists clenched. Uzumi Nara Athha had made the very same decision before thousands perished for his foolishness, as long as him being engulfed in a sea of flames. He twirled the petite pink cell phone, its beads rattling lightly as the same words replayed in his mind. _Hello! Mayu here, sorry I can't talk to you right now. Leave a message after the beep._

_Ding Dong_ the light bell chimed in his apartment and the dark-haired male looked up. 'Who on Earth…?' He began to think as he got up from his couch reluctantly and pulled the door open, revealing a distraught coordinator. The Freedom Pilot standing on his very doorstep. "H-Hey . . . What's," the teen trailed off as Kira Yamato stepped inside smiling at him faintly. "Up?" he finished watching the brunette curiously, ruby gaze intrigued by the male.

The Ultimate Coordinator frowned as he stepped inside; looking up to give a distraught smile, feigning the appearance of normality, though he doubted Shinn bought his weak act. "Lacus went to discuss the matter with Cagalli. She has a great influence on the world, as well as her but I suppose I didn't want to talk about it to them . . ."

_It looks like you have such sad dreams Kira. _The brunette was frowning, hands rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly.

"O-Oh. I see," Shinn stammered in reply, watching the other male quizzically, brows knitted together in worriment as the faint streams of sunlight illuminated Kira, it's dull orange glow made the image seem like a painting of sadistic thoughts. Of inner meaning; and it suited the older coordinator well. Kira always seemed cool, collective of situations and seemed to hold a knowledge others much older did not have and others would not be able to even begin to understand. Seeing the teen so lost and confused unnerved Shinn slightly, though at the same time he was relieved he came to see _him, _a sign that he had been forgiven for almost killing him a year or so before. "So . . . Did you want to talk?" he asked, quirking a slender brow.

The brunette shrugged in return, a faint movement of his shoulders before he turned then sighed. "I suppose, it doesn't really matter," he replied running slender fingers through chestnut strands.

"Yeah, I hate it too. What do you think is the right thing to do? I mean do you think Ms. Athha should do?" he asked gaze falling upon him, ruby eyes watching the other male intently. Wondering what he thought. From his sad expression, Shinn could tell- see that he was thinking about his answer. It seemed that no matter what they chose with the Earth Alliance, it always burned.

Whether it was the sacrifice of Izumi Nara Athha, or the selfish and rash decision of the Seirans. _But the real question is what should we be fighting against? And how should we? _Now, Kira was not so sure, unsure of whether his answer was true or mere naivety. "I suppose, they should fight. I mean with so many wars and deaths before this, to suddenly fall again. . . I think that would make Lord Izumi's sacrifice meaningless."

"But, if they do that, everyone knows the Earth Alliance will attack! Why do they have to be so stubborn and just admit that the way things are now they can't do that anymore!" he replied, fully facing him now before shaking his head, as a sign of apology for suddenly launching into an outburst.

_Whatever it is we should be fighting for, we'll find it together. _Naïve. That was what he was sure his words had been. Who would believe something so foolish except someone young and without experience with the real world? Yet he missed his naivety, the ultimate coordinator seemed to be looking for some light, some beacon of hope. "But I don't think. . . That giving in would help Orb in anyway. With the confidence Cagalli speaks and with the immediacy and because of the decision itself, the citizens can be relieved that they can look up to her. And that Orb will not crumble beneath pressure or fear and act rashly," he explained in return. Many were caught up in past events though Kira knew that past events and results of the Orb Union did not affect her for Cagalli was only concerned about the well-being of her country and the protection of its ideals.

"Don't play around with politics with me damn it! It's just-" Shinn averted his gaze, realizing that his anger was not directed at Kira and it would be unfair of him to do so. Kira shook his head, lying back upon the couch, chestnut strands falling from his face.

_So, the only choice here is to fight._

"I wonder. . . What the Earth Alliance is thinking . . . ?" Kira stated not expecting an answer from the ruby-eyed teen who looked up suddenly surprised at his words. "I bet that's what a lot of people are thinking," he said in reply to his curious gaze and Shinn nodded dazedly, only seeming to understand his words to an extent. _I bet that's what everyone is thinking. That the only option is to fight. _

"Blue Cosmos doesn't even exist anymore. After the situation with Djibril they were disbanded!" Shinn exclaimed his mind jumbled and confused, who was this enemy of mankind now? Things were so much easier when he had people telling him to do, now that he had the opportunity to choose, to shape his own future, why was it that it was suddenly so difficult?

_Perhaps the real problem lies within the human heart. _"It's not always the fault of Blue Cosmos," Kira replied, and anyone could tell that the thought made him sad, disappointed at the true colors of the Earth Alliance.

"What does the Arch Angel plan to do?" the younger coordinator asked, taking a seat beside him. He turned his gaze upon him waiting with the feigned appearance of patience. Though the brunette shrugged, he didn't know. Who knew what to do, should they fight against Orb or with it? Wasn't that a simple question, though if it was anyone else wouldn't they choose otherwise? An uneasy silence surrounded them then, uneasiness towards the war, their lives and the decisions they would again have to make.

"As the representative of the Atlantic Federation, and a strong country united with many others within the Earth Alliance I am here to speak on our, as well as their behalf to deliver a message to the Orb Representative," the television droned the brunette flashing across the screen. Shinn squinted at her uneasily, while Kira glared at her with distaste. _Are we being selfish? _Perhaps Athrun's question back then had held more significance then he imagined. "We have clearly received the message from Orb and their immediate decision made to reject our proposal. As a country of Earth, we only found that a sole united treaty would bring us all closer together. And at the same time, we wanted to ensure the safety of all the citizens living on Earth. Let it be made clear that such demands were not made because of the injustice seen towards coordinators that many believe all naturals share. Orb is indeed a nation that represents the possibility of equality amongst us, amongst the two species some may even say. Or even together as humanity and as a whole." _Conflict has been with us since the dawn of time._ Was Durandal right? Could this stranger be trusted? Or was her falsehood much like Durandal's? Masked behind wondrous dreams and words of false righteousness?

"We hold no grudge against coordinators or towards the PLANTs any longer. We who had once believed whole-heartedly in the words of Chairman Durandal, pulled into his falsehoods still believe in his dream to strive towards the unity of humanity," a pause, not one of hesitation but a pause for those in the audience to think about what she was saying. And Shinn frowned, not sure what he should believe in and Kira did as well, wanting this new future though found the opportunity too perfect, to easy. Too suspicious.

Which side was right?

"We believe in such a dream, but how can we strive towards it without first the unity of Naturals? Combining the two who have refused each other for so long, when more than just two enemies lie with us? We have a dream. And no matter how much we do not want violence, we will fight for it." Depending on one's perspective, one's beliefs and perhaps even one's relationship with someone words twist and become different, they could sound better or worse. Have ill intentions or good.

The thought sounded good, seemed good and just watching the young female upon the screen was inspirational. Though, when had Kira ever sided with any side labeled either Natural or coordinator? The message ended shortly after, the soft rhythm of advertisements takings its place. And again an awkward silence fell upon the two though neither seemed to notice. Shinn; lost in the past, and Kira; lost in the future.

I will take revenge, for those of the past. And protect the future from the past.

I will not go back to the past. I will move forward, I won't let others repeat my mistakes. And I won't be just another mistake.

This woman, this leader of the Atlantic Federation was this her true side? It had already seemed corrupt to begin with, so perhaps she was not like Durandal and her ill-intentions really were not present. Or perhaps something even more sinister could be lurking beneath her mask. A powerful nation. A worthy adversary. They weren't Blue Cosmos, but what did they intend to do next? Force their opinion upon others? That was cruel, but was it not like the Arch Angel? Fighting both sides for the sake of peace, as well as freedom? Fighting for their way, and yelling screaming at others. Letting those other's dreams crumble beneath them while they let them live and watch helplessly. Was that an even more cruel fate? Kira frowned, running his rough hands through his hair once again sighing as he pulled his head back. What should he do now? Flay Allster would have told him to protect the Arch Angel, protect his friends. Though he felt selfish, wanting to unite the world as the leader of the Atlantic Federation had said.

He could hear Shinn fidgeting beside him and he could feel his ruby-gaze upon him. Though he ignored it; lost in his own thoughts, worries and concerns.

* * *

The Atlantic Federation Bureau was a buzz after the announcement, everyone seemed to be rushing to do something, go somewhere. Surprisingly enough despite the chaotic scene before her, Hana remained inexplicably calm. Rouge eyes blinking as she looked around, answering all questions brought before her and offering smiles when necessary. The incident with Gilbert Durandal had been rather recent, and thus his influence was likely still quite strong and apparent. Yet, at the same time she knew that her greatest enemy in trying to bring about her mission to its conclusion and success she wouldn't need to defeat the Arch Angel or Orb. She needed them on her side; no matter how stubborn they were they were a powerful force that stood for justice. Having them would give her both power, and the confidence of the public as a whole.

Unite the World. Be a powerful symbol. Rule it.

"Ms. Kujyou!" a male exclaimed as he ran up to her, breathe short and hoarse. The brunette looked up on him smiling serenely with a look of innocence.

"What is it?" she asked, looking at the male worried. Though in truth she did not care about the male himself, but of the male himself. _A government needs both soldiers that will obey orders as well as superiors who are able to see the larger picture. _Would Captain Natarl be proud of her decision? She wasn't sure since in the end she did not aid in the death of Inspector Azrael.

"The Orb military is taking up defensive positions and their citizens are being evacuated. What are your orders?" he asked straightening himself and saluting. A loyal and trustworthy subordinate and Hana was more than satisfied with him.

"That's terrible! I guess they really don't want to unite the world," Hana paused wondering which sort of tactic would look best for the Earth Alliance. "Maybe we haven't made ourselves clear enough. Or do they plan to attack instead of merely protecting their own nation?" she asked frowning. No one could tell if her words were sincere, not even Hana. It would be best if they attacked them, but what would be the way to best provoke this attack? She placed a slender hand beneath her chin to think, ah yes. An idea and a great idea at that. The outcome becomes clear.

* * *

Author's Note: I finally updated and I'm hope your happy x) Since, well you should be and despite my sudden slowness I'm trying to pick things up again so don't be angry with me. –nervous chuckle- Well, everyone's confused with the current state of affairs and again please rate and comment! That's what makes me really happy and makes me update sooner! Nothing inspires but the thumbs up from the audience and the acceptance from its viewers. Ah, yes and cookies.

Oh yes, and sorry for any spelling errors when it came to names.

* * *


	4. Now Or Never

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny, nor did I take part in the production of this franchise.

* * *

Phase 03 –

Kira was alone, standing on the sandy beaches, the waves splashing upon the sand and the sun still high in the sky. He understood even more so than he had before, how Athrun felt, the anxiety of just sitting and watching. How he'd wanted to do something to end the war in its early blossoming. When Cagalli was doing so much, he also knew Lacus was helping Cagalli. Just as she had during the second war, where had she announced her distrust towards Durandal beside Orb, by Cagalli. _Hello, my friend's. My name is Lacus Clyne. _He wondered how the imposter had felt, Meer Campbell, the Chairman's Lacus. Though he shook his head quickly, refusing to look back into the past, but he could not help himself.

Hadn't it been him that very morning who had sworn that despite the nightmares he would fight for freedom? He was being selfish again, pushing how he felt, his own ambitions and dreams upon others much like Durandal. There really was no difference. _I'm nothing more than a single human being. _Ultimate Coordinator or not, Kira Yamato was still human, he was still selfish and he was still capable of mistakes. But as much as he detested it, it seemed that with every war, the Arch Angel's decision only became more influential, and he felt that mistakes were not an option.

_In this time are we loving  
Or do we sit here wondering  
Why this world isn__'__t turning round__  
__It__'__s now or never_

It was funny, how no longer how hard he seemed to fight, they never ended, never showed any signs of ending and each war just seemed to be but another sign of mockery towards him. Another way the world seemed to scream at him that fighting was just prolonging the inevitable. It was true, that that did indeed make him feel a bit better, prolonging denying but he wanted to end the wars, the conflicts and the deaths. He'd fought through one too many wars, and who was looking forward to this third one that was threatening to destroy the world? He could hear light footsteps, of high heels upon the sand and for a moment before wondering who it was, he first wondered how they could walk. When the silken voice reached him he knew at once who it was. Lacus Clyne.

"Kira? What are you doing?" came the songstress' voice. The brunette turned, smiling unconvincingly at the pink-haired female, and her gray eyes did not, could not hide their concern. He turned then, back upon the sun as it slowly began to set his actions were almost like a hint, his way of telling her to look and to watch.

"Orb sent out a warning, telling people to head to safety ahead of time; as a precaution. They don't want any blood to be spilled and everyone is heading for the shelters and others for planes. We should head to the shelter to . . . " she paused, not wanting to continue though the silence that rested between them prompted her to tell him everything she knew. His sadistic aura was what had attracted her to him, the strong desire she had to make him happy. "They're sending out negotiation fleets. It's an idiotic move, but then again the leader is but a child. Sending the fleets out to try and keep any fighting from happening, but I'm sure there are higher ups who know that Orb will attack . . . The Atlantic Federation, the representative is . . . Whatever the outcome, I don't plan on making any sort of move with the Eternal until everything becomes clear." Lacus said, a serene smile forming on her lips. As usual she was completely calm, aware of the situation and completely reasonable and level headed.

"I know," the brunette paused turning back at her as the sky began to change from it's shade of blue to a mix of crimson and other warm colors. "But, haven't we always sided with Orb? Cagalli won't do anything . . . Rash right?" he asked, and despite the fact that he knew she would know about as little as he did about the situation, he wanted to hear an answer from Lacus Clyne herself.

The idol smiled reassuringly, closing the distance between them as she allowed her fingertips to brush the small of his chin. "Of course Kira, Cagalli cares about her nation as well as its position in the world. Its ideal's protect her from straying away from doing anything destructive. Don't worry Kira," she replied. Like a human bewitched by a spell Kira was immediately more at ease, believing her words completely as his face's features softened.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You should get the kids to the shelters. I'll be right behind you," he offered as he smiled at her and Lacus nodded reluctantly before wordlessly gathering the children and hushing them as she brought them away. Casting one last worried glance at Kira, she caught sight of a raven-haired male making his way towards him. Maybe Shinn would help his spirits, making him . . . _Him_ again. Shinn always could, when Athrun and Sai could not.

* * *

The Earth forces battleships were rapidly closing and Cagalli, assuming the very worst issued all Orb battleships to move out. And then, within moments Orb became the battlefield that Cagalli had always dreaded seeing. The feisty blonde bit her lip, orange eyes scanning over the well ordered military base that was Orb. She remembered standing there just as she had during the last war, there was no feeling she dreaded more.

"Two Aegis-class cruisers have been destroyed Ma'am," one man called spinning around to face her to inform her before hastily returning to the battle at hand.

"Tell the Murasame's to launch!" she exclaimed in reply, hand on the battle screen that continued to flash a familiar green. There were ships on both sides being destroyed and she hated it. Of course, Orb had always been a neutral nation and so she did not hold any grudge against either side, and seeing both being pitted against each other made her sick.

"Archangel-class ships are closing in the south harbor Ma'am. Missiles closing," he continued frantically, trying, and failing to keep his tone flat.

"We can't intercept them! There are too many!" a ship's static-filled cry came through the communications.

"Dammit!" she exclaimed, slamming her hand down hard upon the table. "Send out the Izumo-class battleships! Don't let them get any closer," she continued to bark out orders. Her brows creased as she continued to watch the ongoing battle in green. She shook her head angrily debating as to where it would be best for her to stay; out in the battlefield, or in the base giving orders? She knew she did not have to prove herself to her nation, that they didn't need her to prove that she was willing to die for her nation. Would it be better for her to go outside to aid them? "Kisaki! Ready the Akatsuki."

Her guardian was obviously surprised, his previous pose completely altered as he took a step back. "A-Ah but princess you have no need to go out there."

"I can't just stand here and watch as my country burns!"

_We have no use, __  
__For the truth, __  
__And now__'__s the time for us to lose.__  
__Who we are and how we__'__ve tried, __  
__Taking every step in stride, __  
__It's now or never to decide.__  
_

The dark-skinned man had always been proud of her, the young blonde's ambition and thirst for justice. Though at times her love for her country drove her to do crazy things, and even drove him mad. He knew he could never stop her. And yet he always tried.

"It would be too dangerous! You have to stay here and give orders," he stated his brows furrowing as he tried to convince her to stay where it was safe. What would Uzumi have him do? Keep his daughter safe? Or his country? He always seemed to have some sort of way of fulfilling both his duties and for that he was truly envious.

"You can't change my mind Kisaki; I can't just stand by and watch." Her words were final, and the older man frowned.

"Very well, I will send out a team of Murasame's to back you up," and reluctantly he turned on his heel. A slender hand reached the bridge of her nose. _You shouldn't let yourself look flustered in that outfit. _Kira's words echoed in her mind. She immediately straightened herself, plastered on a brave face as she scanned the working base. Missiles continued to crash down on her homeland, and she could tell that the people of Orb were scared, and some were even dying.

* * *

Aboard the Archangel-class battleship was none other than the representative and ruler of the Atlantic Federation; Hana Kujyou. It was its first launch, and the brunette had sent it out with knowledge that its capabilities were high, though its soldier's less experienced than others. The coordinator sat next to the captain, Christopher Lousier. A tall and slender male with rich flaxen hair sat at the front, his eyes watching the battlefield carefully.

"Should you send out the new Mobile suits? We're nearing the frontlines." Hana said tossing a glance at him, though her expression was uncertain, a look of innocence she often feigned when with company.

"Not yet, of course they are all ready for launch," he assured her. He had been in her audience before and knew much about her. That she was a coordinator and also that while she was often ignorant she was always making the right decision in the end, or at least most of the time. He also knew that while she always held that look of innocence she was wiser than she allowed others to see. "Who would have thought another war would be coming. And so soon?" he murmured raising a slender brow at the brunette. Hana smiled in return.

"I know. But maybe it's my fault for pushing on my opinions on them so quickly," she replied with a wry smile. But Christopher shook his head, and Hana did not know if he meant it or was only saying so because she was his superior.

"No, I disagree; this endless cycle would never have ended. It was, is because Orb has only tasted the very outer border of war, and hasn't come close to actually fighting one. We don't want to fight them, but they do not understand and they are ignorant," he replied, his words coming out slow as if he formed the words carefully in his mind before saying them.

"I see, maybe I am not fit to rule the Atlantic Federation, you seem to be more sure than me," she replied. She was fond of Christopher at times; he was always able to assure her and never took advantage of her false demeanor.

"But everyone is confused in times of war. Isn't that right Representative?" he asked with a reassuring smile before returning his gaze to that of the battle at hand.

* * *

"So is that it? You're going to sit. Watch. And just cry while your home is attacked? Where's the Freedom pilot that always fought stubbornly for peace!?" Shinn exclaimed as he, Kira, Lacus as well as all the orphaned children sat in the shelter.

The brunette averted his gaze, his lips wavering as he seemed to be fighting back tears. But why was he even crying? "But fighting won't bring the war to an end Shinn! We've tried that!" he exclaimed, and Shinn was surprised. Since the very first time he'd laid eyes on him he never expected to see such life in his amethyst eyes. What confused him the most was what he saw reflected in his eyes, was it hatred or anger? Anger at what? Was it because he did not understand, was the concept too large, to difficult for him to grasp? Was he frustrated because no matter how many times he seemed to try and grasp a peaceful life he found responsibility, the wanting to protect and soon just the thought that he was needed to protect that made him continue to fight.

"Fighting won't bring anything to an end you idiot! All we can do is fight and do what _we _can. Don't be such a whiny ass, and get your ass out on the battlefield and protect what you have before it's taken away from you!" The younger coordinator's goals were far smaller, and even less significant than the responsibilities of the Freedom pilot. It was probably easier, to just protect those who were important to you, while Kira had to protect not just those precious to him, but everyone fighting the war. To protect those fighting against him as well as those fighting with him, and his emotions which always made him do reckless things.

_In this way are we learning__  
__Or do we sit here yearning__  
__For this world to stop turning round  
It__'__s now or never_

"But just killing others when in the end it's just pointless? The Chairman was right in this way; people just never seem to learn. Some do but it's never . . . Never fast enough, I can't change anything if I just keep fighting!" he exclaimed, and from the corner of his eye he could see the children begin to fidget uneasily, and even the always understanding Lacus Clyne winced at his reaction. This was not the man she had fallen in love with at all.

"Stop acting all superior. No one is asking you for anything. You just keep over thinking every little detail. You were fine with killing the Chairman in the end. I don't like killing either but I will do what I have to. I'll stand and fight." His brows creased angrily, a look of determination falling upon his features and Kira felt envious. Why couldn't he be like that? Hadn't those been _his_ words? The younger coordinator did not understand that in the end he had not killed the Chairman, but he knew that if Rey had not, he most definitely would have. His trembling slowly began to cease, though his distress and confusion still lay in his round eyes.

His hand swiped over his face, as if wiping away his expression and even the possibility of the tears that had before threatened to brim over his eyelids. He cleared his throat before cautiously beginning to speak again, "It's stupid to continue to fight. Prolonging the inevitable as it eventually seems to appear. But . . . Is prolonging the inevitable really good enough?" he asked and he turned his expression to Shinn, who was surprised by his sudden seriousness and return to his usual self. Then again, the Ultimate Coordinator always seemed only half there, except in battle it seemed. He was always starring into the stars, into space as if he'd lost something precious to him there. _My true feelings will protect you. _

"You never know, but-" Shinn was cut off mid-sentence by Lacus Clyne, her love for the male causing her to intervene in the conversation, her wanting to make him happy. Her desire to see the life, the sparkle that had been in his eyes before the death of Flay Allster.

"But if everyone just decides to do nothing, they'll end up doing less than nothing. And in the end nothing will change," Lacus replied, a perfect smile forming upon her pink lips. It was funny, ironic even that they were using his own words. That the one giving hope now had his own words thrusted upon him to grant _him_ a hope for the future. Kira seemed only half convinced as he bit his lower lip, lifting his head, placing his gaze first on Shinn, then Lacus. "As long as one is fighting to protect, in the end something will change. Whether it is small or large something is changed and something is protected. Right, Kira?" she asked, her head tilting to the side as a radiant smile graced her features. The smile that had always been able to push Kira forward.

"I-" Kira began, and yet that ever present sliver of doubt caused him again to look at the floor. Though Shinn seemed to have not noticed this, and he spoke.

"Alright then, to the Destiny and the Freedom!" the raven-haired coordinator smiled and Lacus, hesitantly caught Mr. Pink in her soft hands.

"R-Right!" he exclaimed in return, burying his doubt for the moment at hand. _Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But right now is a gift, that is why it is called the present.* _The idol took the key from the pink Haro, turning to the door in the shelter behind them. And behind it lay their Gundams. Behind it lay Kira's sword.

_It's Now or Never_

He knew that he would have to choose a side. Kira knew that he would have to pick between two sides of a battle this time, but would he be able to choose correctly? Would his emotions again blind him to the truth? And with a hesitant and wavering step that he tried to hide, he raised his sword.

* * *

* This line is copied from the movie Kung Fu Panda starring Jack Black. It was spoken by the tortoise while he was speaking to Shifu. I do _not _own this movie.

Song Used: Now or Never by Three Days Grace

Author's Note: Please comment! I'd like to now how you think! Please? Whether you liked it or not, it inspires me anyways!

* * *


End file.
